A little bit of hooliganism

April 1, 2012

If you try to promote your music on your own in the world we live in, you won’t have any time for the music itself. So, first of all, you need to find a label.

It’s not likely that sending a CD with your masterpiece to some recording company would be enough. You gotta make that label pay special attention to your CD. It doesn’t matter how talented you are. It’s the human factor that plays the major part. If a chief executive is having a bad hair day, has family issues, etc, he might easily overlook your recording.

It’s no secret that Nuclear Blast is the dream of any metal band. Here is the idea. Why don’t we throw a brick through their headquarters window in broad daylight? And it won’t be just a brick. It’ll have our CD attached to it. Let’s make them hear the glass break. Let’s make the cameras record it. And let’s inform the papers. Newspapers just LOVE scandals.

All media would be studded with screaming headlines like: “Attack on Nuclear Blast”, “Russians Risk It All”, “Awesome Attack”, “AWE.SOME Launch Offensive.” All kinds of them! You get the audience’s attention. Then there’s the Internet, the word of mouth… AWE.SOME thunders on all radio stations in prime time! All TV channels broadcast the recording from the surveillance cameras. Talk shows cover this act of wild Russian vandalism. Yes, you will actually get locked in for 15 days for hooliganism but after that… After that we turn into rock stars. We sign the contract and get ready for the tour.

Have fun and please don’t try this at home.